Who knew I would be doing a 3-part series on this topic? (See Part 1, Part 2)  I sure didn’t when God first allowed me to pen the topic. Nevertheless, let’s see what the Heavenly Father wants us to know more about persons who hurt us and how to navigate the experience.

Let me start by asking this question. What do you think about your enemies or the people that hurt you?

Pause for a moment. I don’t want you to continue reading. I want you to stop and think about someone who has hurt you or is currently a Judas in your life. Get an adjective or phrase to describe the person as your heart would have it. Don’t think about it too long, but lock in on what came to your mind instantly.

Let me see if I can help with this exercise by listing down some descriptors that the average person would use – Dog, Wicked, Evil, “I wish they would die,” Fool, etc. I am sure my words are blog-sanitized, but some of you might have had more colorful expletives, right?

Isn’t’ this how we often think of our Judases, in vile negative terms, and that therein my friends lie one of the problems. Our negative thinking towards our Judases is often the cause of our triggers and reciprocated attacks on them. More often than not, this leads to a downward spiral where the love of God isn’t fully displayed in us during interactions. This is why it is important to change our thinking and mindset. Changing behavior starts with a change in thinking. I would further say that our success and failure is often found in our thinking patterns.

Ok, Dane, I hear what you are saying, but how should we think? I am glad that you asked. Let’s examine our model for Christian living (Jesus Christ) to get the answer. The word of God shows that Jesus thought of the persons who hurt Him in a positive light. This can be seen in the Book of Matthew when Judas and the soldiers came to arrest Jesus.

Matthew 26:49-50 (NIV): “Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.  Jesus replied, “Do what you came for, friend.” Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him”.

Notice that at the instance of betrayal, when the wound is still fresh and gaping, Jesus turns to Judas, looks him dead in the eye, and calls him Friend with all honesty and sincerity. Even after years have passed, sometimes we still call people who hurt us by colorful expletives. Yet, in that moment, when the knife went into Jesus’s heart with the act of a kiss, Jesus’s reaction was to announce Judas as a friend publicly. When Judas was publicly declaring war, Jesus was publicly declaring peace. Now, let me pose this question to you. What are your actions publicly declaring in the presence of your enemies and onlookers?

We must learn to stop thinking about the people who hurt us in a negative light. These people are there for a purpose: to allow Jesus Christ to be more formed in us. This is one of God’s objectives for allowing certain things to happen; He allows them because He wants Christ to be more formed in us.

We must strive to become more mature believers and know that not only blessings and prosperity cause our belief in God to grow. But our Heavenly Father also applies principles and learnings that can only be found in the valley experiences to allow more of Christ to be formed in us. Think less of what your Judas is doing on the outside. Instead, focus and contemplate on what Christ is doing on your inside. It is always an inside job with our God.

I would like us to note that God is using our Judases and, might I add, events in our lives, and the devil is also using our Judases and life events to shape and mold. God is using our Judas to teach us how to love our enemies, and the Devil is using our Judas to anchor hate in our lives toward others. Therefore, we must guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and apply relevant scripture to allow the will of God and the instruments He uses to come to fruition. Let’s not take matters into our own hands and short-circuit what God is trying to create in our hearts (Christlikeness).  

I am reminded about the following scriptures:

Luke 6:27-29 (NIV) 27: “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.

Luke 6:35 (NIV): “ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”

Romans 12:20 (NIV) 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Friends, my encouragement for us today is to comfortably sit wherever your Judases are placed and not be unsettled and think about hating because that is a backward step.  Think about your Judases as Christ did, as a friend and not an enemy. Because unknown to them and sometimes us, they are placed in our life to allow Christ to be more formed in us.

I leave you with these quotes :

PS: Dane Miller was last seen on his knees, praying, “Lord, make me more like your son Jesus Christ, for truly He is our model for living.”

Your Brother in the Lord,

Dane Miller – “God is the Author, I am the Pen”

Authored Book – What is the Woman Saying – Lessons from Biblical Women.

PS: I welcome your feedback on this blog post and encourage you to leave a comment below or subscribe/