This blog was born from a combination of things that have transpired over the course of my life and, more recently, due to some current events. As the topic indicates, “Sometimes the situation needs the wrong person”, and I distinctly remember the first time this concept was introduced to me. It was in 1997, and I was managing a retail store for Courts Trinidad Limited.

Allow me to recap what happened one day. An irate customer entered the store and vented their frustrations, unnecessarily exhibiting poor and disrespectful behavior.  About an hour after our altercation, the building’s landlord and I were conversing, and I shared the details of what had just occurred between the customer and me. Do you know what this elderly Muslim gentleman told me?

He said I ought to embrace the customer’s hostile attitude and view it as a blessing. I should feel grateful because Allah had permitted me to be the agent through whom this angry customer could de-stress and relieve his tension. As a young man in my mid-twenties, hearing this feedback was utterly offensive to me. In my mind, I thought, “What sort of madness is this man telling me?” Naturally, I challenged him and stood my ground regarding why the customer’s behaviour was unacceptable and should not be condoned.

The gentleman further remarked that, much like a pressure cooker releasing steam, the customer was able to vent some frustration through me, which might have even prevented him from doing something worse later that day, if his emotional temperature gauge had not been regulated downwards. I could only imagine how my expression appeared as I spoke to this man. Inside, I was screaming that he was talking absolute nonsense, pure nonsense, and I was sure my face conveyed no different sentiments.

Fast forward 20-plus years, and I have grown so much since then and learned many more truths about life.  I realised a while ago that this gentleman was 100% correct with his advice. He and that irate customer were the first ones that I can recall, who taught me that the wrong person in my life can actually be the right person for my life. That customer encounter taught me patience, tolerance, temperance, understanding of alternate viewpoints, and it started to shape a man who was more skilled at de-escalating situations rather than escalating them just to prove he was right. That day, the shaping of a man was birthed, and adverse events birthed it. It birthed a man who needed to be more introspective and reflective.

We must learn that some situations don’t require the right person; they need the wrong person. Sometimes, the wrong person is the best individual to kickstart inner growth and development in our lives. This may be difficult for some to hear, but often, changes won’t occur, until the wrong person is in the right place. As my friend Nicole told me, “People come into your life for a reason, a season and for treason”. But treachery does not mean the person is/was wrong for your life, because even in treachery, there can be victory.

Dane, what place is that you were speaking about above? Well, I am glad you asked! The place where someone wreaks havoc, causing destruction, disequilibrium and disruption in your family, work environment, or social circles. The thing is, we tend to plan our lives for a bed of roses, but God plans for thorns and thistles. Or should I say, “God’s Plan is Thorns and Thistles.” I remind us of this because God said that man is of few days and full of trouble (Job 14:1), and in this life, we will suffer tribulation (John 16:33).

I ask you to read the excerpt below from a recent clip I heard.

“Sometimes the situation does not need the right person; it needs the wrong person. Some people don’t grow from love; they grow from pain. Some lessons are not learned from success; they are learned from failure. Sometimes the situation does not need the most capable person; it needs someone who will mess up badly so everyone involved will know what needs to change.” – Reference: justnique32.

As Justnique32 mentioned, the wrong person can sometimes be the perfect fit because that person will directly or indirectly inspire positive change. We often think that being a fit, must always mean having the right person. No! Sometimes, a fit involves having the wrong person in the right place and at the right time.

Fit is not solely about having someone create a comfortable environment for smooth sailing; sometimes, it involves crafting an uncomfortable environment initially so that everything runs more smoothly later on.

It is about having someone who can shake things up and identify what’s lacking and needs improvement. This person challenges the status quo, reevaluates methods of operation, questions behaviours and mindsets, and goes against the grain of the culture. Alternatively, it might be a negative disruptor (i.e. a poor performer, gossiper, malicious individual, liar, etc.), whose role is to break things for someone else to repair and rebuild them bigger and better than before.  

Eckhart Tolle said, “You are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold; that is how important you are”. In essence, we are all interwoven into the tapestry of life and have our entrance and exit points in the various scenes on lifes stage.  At times, we embody the role of the villain, causing harm and subsequently seeking mercy or forgiveness; at other times, we are the victor and able to boast about how we are thriving. From birth to burial, all of us will play one of those “V’s” at various moments and in various measures. There will be instances where our script will be written to be a flawed and disliked person, as our assignment will be one of an anti-hero. Life is structured for us to play this duplex of roles without exception.

Can you imagine how horrific the outcome would have been if the following scenarios did not have the wrong person:

  1. Joseph would not have gone to Egypt and saved thousands of lives during the famine if he did not have the wrong brothers, the ones who plotted to kill him –  (Genesis 37:18-36)
  2. Jesus would not have been crucified on the cross and provided salvation for all if He did not have the wrong friend (Judas), the one who betrayed Him – Luke 22
  3. King David would not have risen to this remarkable man and leader to propel the Jewish nation to greatness if first, the land didn’t have the wrong leader (King Saul), the one who was selfish and power hungry –  (1 Samuel 13:9-14)
  4. We wouldn’t have examples to fear and reverence God if we did not have wrong church members (Ananias and Sapphira), the ones who promote lies and deception – (Acts 5:1-11)

On the surface, it looked like these people were the wrong people because of the evil actions of those involved. However, God planned it to turn out for their good. As the bible declares:

Romans 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”

This blog aims to encourage and remind us that the events in our lives will ultimately benefit us and turn out for our good. Therefore, I urge you to continue trusting God and placing all your hope in Him. The person you believe to be the wrong person in your life at present, is in fact, the right one!

“My friends, nothing is good or bad, it all depends on how you use it..” – Dane Miller

PS: Dane Miller was last seen praising and thanking God for all the challenges in his life…!

Your Brother in the Lord,

Dane Miller – “God is the Author, I am the Pen”

Authored Book – What is the Woman Saying – Lessons from Biblical Women.